Cycle 10: November 15 to December 19, 2020
Week 3 Messages of the Week
Junior - Beginner
Message of the Week - SELF-CONTROL: Body Over Emotion
This cycle we are discussing strategies that will help develop Self-Control. Having self-control means to control your emotions and actions. It is important to have self-control because good self-control = a good life. Bad self-control = a bad life. Our goal is to teach you practical ways of handling your emotions so you stay in control. Some examples of having good self-control are controlling your temper, sitting with your legs crossed and posture straight, staying focused on your teacher.
This week we are going to talk about what we can do with our body, when we become angry or afraid, to make us feel better. Have you ever gotten mad at your mom, dad, sister, brother, or friend and said or did something you regretted later on? We all have. Chances are, when we get angry we let our emotions get the best of us. Remember, there are two things a Martial Artist never does when they are angry. They never speak out of anger and they never strike out of anger. Repeat this to yourself, “Never speak out of anger and never strike out of anger.”
Here are some strategies for what can we do the next time we get angry to keep ourselves from doing something we will regret later. First, when someone is angry their body usually shows it–their shoulders are shrugged, their head is forward, and they are scowling. When someone is angry they usually breathe in quick, shallow breaths. Now let's review how someone stands when they are calm and confident. They usually hold their shoulders back, their head up, and they have a slight smile on their face.
Next time you find yourself angry, bring your shoulders back, lift your chin up, smile, and take ten long, slow, deep breaths while saying “Relax” to yourself. It is almost impossible to stay mad when you stand and breathe this way.
This week practice going from mad to calm by changing the way you stand, holding your body, and how you are breathing.
Junior - Intermediate, Advanced & Black Belt
Message of the Week - POPULARITY
This week we will be discussing Popularity. Consider the following story. Once there were two children, Heather and Monica. Heather desperately wanted to be liked by the other kids on the playground. As hard as she tried, they just didn’t seem to let her in to the ‘inner circle”. Heather noticed that the popular group would laugh when the other kids would fall or get hurt. Heather decided to get in on the action. So she tripped another kid and they all laughed. Heather liked being the center of attention. So she pushed another child off the slide. They laughed again. Shortly afterwards the group started including Heather in their activities.
Monica also wanted to be liked by the other kids and thought to herself, “I am a person who does the right thing…no matter what other people think. I insist on being myself and living with honor – respecting myself and others!” So she refused to do mean things, but instead was kind and offered help and friendship. What Monica discovered was that loyalty, integrity, and kindness lead to genuine friendships.
• Which girl would you expect to have genuine friends?”
• Which girl would you expect to have friendships that are shallow and short lasting?
• Which one may end up having more trouble in life?
• Which one would you want as your friend?
Message of the Week - QUALITIES OF A BLACK BELT: KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN BALANCE
This week we are going to discuss the Black Belt Quality of “Keeping Your Emotions in Balance”. As the saying goes, “Lose control of your emotions in a fight and your opponent has an ally!” Every emotion has an appropriate time and place. There is a time to be stern and a time to be compassionate. If we become overly emotional, or if we become emotional when it doesn’t serve us, we lose our ability to think clearly and act appropriately. If, however, we are able to respond with the appropriate emotion, at the appropriate time, with the appropriate intensity, then our emotions work for us rather than against us.
An important thing to remember is that you are responsible for your actions. You may not be able to control your thoughts, but you certainly should be able to control what you do. So you might just decide not to say or do anything while you're emotional that you could regret later . Logic and emotion are like oil and water…they don’t mix. Wait until you are calm before you confront someone with an issue or before you make any important decisions.
The most important thing you can you do if you feel yourself starting to lose control of your emotions is to be aware that it’s happening. Once you are aware, if possible, you can try to defer the encounter until you are more calm. If that’s not possible, take a moment to breathe deeply, visualize a peaceful place and remember that the situation is seldom as bad as it seems when emotions are high.