Cycle 4: April 26 to May 30, 2021
Week 3 Messages of the Week
Junior - Beginner
Message of the Week - SELF-CONTROL: Body Over Emotion
This cycle we are discussing strategies that will help develop Self-Control. Having self-control means to control your emotions and actions. It is important to have self-control because good self-control = a good life. Bad self-control = a bad life. Our goal is to teach you practical ways of handling your emotions so you stay in control. Some examples of having good self-control are controlling your temper, sitting with your legs crossed and posture straight, staying focused on your teacher.
This week we are going to talk about what we can do with our body, when we become angry or afraid, to make us feel better. Have you ever gotten mad at your mom, dad, sister, brother, or friend and said or did something you regretted later on? We all have. Chances are, when we get angry we let our emotions get the best of us. Remember, there are two things a Martial Artist never does when they are angry. They never speak out of anger and they never strike out of anger. Repeat this to yourself, “Never speak out of anger and never strike out of anger.”
Here are some strategies for what can we do the next time we get angry to keep ourselves from doing something we will regret later. First, when someone is angry their body usually shows it–their shoulders are shrugged, their head is forward, and they are scowling. When someone is angry they usually breathe in quick, shallow breaths. Now let's review how someone stands when they are calm and confident. They usually hold their shoulders back, their head up, and they have a slight smile on their face.
Next time you find yourself angry, bring your shoulders back, lift your chin up, smile, and take ten long, slow, deep breaths while saying “Relax” to yourself. It is almost impossible to stay mad when you stand and breathe this way.
This week practice going from mad to calm by changing the way you stand, holding your body, and how you are breathing.
Junior - Intermediate, Advanced & Black Belt
Message of the Week - APPRECIATION
Consider the following story. The other day Jerry and Bob rode their bikes home from school as fast as they could, they and some other friends were going to ride their bikes over to the park that afternoon and catch frogs. On the way home they ran over some glass and just as they got home each of them got a flat tire. Now Bob thought to himself “Wow am I lucky! I could have gotten this flat a long way from home” and he started to fix his tire. Jerry, on the other hand, thought to himself “Why did this have to happen… bad things always happen to me.” He then kicked his bike and went into the house mad. After he cooled off he came out to fix his tire.
As Bob was fixing his tire the wrench slipped and flew out of his hand. It just missed his mom’s car and slid under it. Bob thought to himself, as he was getting the wrench from under the car, “Wow am I lucky that didn’t scratch mom’s car”.
The same thing happened to Jerry. Only Jerry got mad and yelled – he then threw the other wrench in anger. It bounced off the wall and broke a window. Now Jerry was sad because he was in trouble for breaking a window.
• Which child had the attitude of appreciation?
• Did Jerry really have bad luck… or was his feeling of bad luck based upon something else?
• How did having an attitude of appreciation affect Bob’s “luck”?
• Which one would you want as a friend?
• Which child do you think grew up to be a good role model
Message of the Week - COMMUNICATION SKILLS: RESOLVING TEAM CHALLENGES AND GIVING FEEDBACK TO TEAMMATES
This week we are going to discuss how to resolve challenges and give feedback to teammates.
1) Be Unemotional – Logic and emotion are like oil and water…they don’t mix. If you speak calmly and logically, chances are the other person will respond in turn.
2) Have a Solution in Mind – Before addressing any problem, have a potential solution. After you present your proposed solution, listen respectfully to other solutions presented by others. Try to see the value of both sides. Be flexible and willing to adjust.
3) Try To See The Other Person’s View Point Before Expressing Your Own (We sometimes refer to this as “Seeking First To Understand And Then To Be Understood”) – This is important because people can sense when you are trying to understand how they feel. This makes them much more receptive to understanding your position.
4) Don’t Be Excessively Critical – Avoid bringing up unimportant details that really don’t make a significant difference. This tends to make people defensive and never helps to resolve anything. This is another way that you can pick your battles.
5) Resist the Temptation to Argue – We all want to be heard, especially when we feel that we are right. But engaging in arguments is generally not productive. Either pick an appropriate time and way to state your case or choose to let the issue go if it really isn’t important.
If you’re in the position of the team leader, consider some strategies when someone on your team has a tendency to be excessively critical or argue. One option is to take the issue offline and handle it separately away from the group environment. Once you have the individual alone, you can address their concerns and invite them to share these critical remarks with you in private without negative exposure to the other members of the group.